xanthan gum

haha. cute, funny, waste of space...I like it.

yeah, i think it's water. not that bad. could cut out a few useless lines, though

um...stop capatilzing respect. and you killed the rhythm for the sake of the rhyme. NEVER do that. go for rhythm first. it's very...choppy and awkward. still, you could make somthing ...

good poem. rhythmic.

Makes my feel like I got a new toy i'm seeing chewed doy toys covered in salvia and teeth marks. i'm not liking it.

wow. well, as for fun, i enjoyed this. i'm not a whore! =[ i just want chocolate.

start over and try again - i suppose i agree with incandescence out of all of these critiques. i would change the title, nonetheless, because realizing fault and accepting discouragement ...

over was supposed to be "love" typos, typos =[

the ending crashed and burned the entire point of the poem, but it made me snort laughter a bit, so i suppose that's probaby the point of that ending. otherwise, ...

omit the fifth stanza. otherwise it had good images. it wasn't the best of the best, but i can relate to the speaker, and, as such, i have a certain ...

so sorry for the bad critique, but i'm in a rush. i'll get back to this poem later, or at least try to. one quick statement: the ~'s look weird. ...

this was...okay. sort of rap-like. i don't have much to say on this, and for that I apologize.

the ending was actually sort of interesting, though all in all i'm pretty sure this poem was 99% ridiculous. a wonderful waste of space. i congratulate you!

it was slightly pretty, but i wanted to kill the words "wind" and "joyful" and "me" by the end of the poem. sort of musical...

i hate it when people take the last phrase, snatch a few words from it and make it the title. but it fits, so i can't complain beautiful imagery, rhyme ...